Priceless

Time for drive to campus: 15 minutes
Number of bridges crossing the American River: 2
Daily parking permit for Sacramento State: $5
Taking a walk across campus: Priceless

Motivation often springs from the simplest of things. It has been almost two months since I last set foot on the campus of my Alma mater. Two months since the academic life was my life. Two months since I have felt like I have accomplished much of anything. Although that is not true and I know it, the fact still remains that I have not been challenged much of late. Not in terms of intellectual pursuits, or, perhaps more to the point, in terms of commitment of my time. I have had far too much and as much as I hate to face it, the fact is much of it has been wasted.

It is also true that I have ideas of where I want to go next and if experience is worth anything, the path will materialize when the time is right - or when I am ready. I am beginning to think that those two factors are one and the same. I believe I have had enough time to mull it over, I believe I am ready. My little excursion onto campus today didn’t accomplish much in the form of tangible progress toward my next challenge, but it did stoke the intangible but absolutely necessary fire that will see me through the process. I do believe I am ready - the path is clearing as if by magic. It’s just over there…

As if that weren’t enough, that old familiar driving force, that looming and growing nemesis, friend and foe simultaneously - an impending and accelerated deadline is staring me square in the face. Due to factors beyond my control, the deadline for post-graduate applications at Sac State have been moved up by one month. I have been squandering time as though I had until April 1st to have my ducks in order. Now March 1st is my deadline and there is a lot of work to do. No simple application process here, there are forms to fill out, transcripts to acquire, letters of recommendation to solicit and a test to take. Although I initiated the process some time ago, it has been sitting in limbo largely unfinished for several weeks.

Maybe it’s the air on campus - the freshness that is emitted from the park-like setting in the middle of an urban concrete jungle. Perhaps the sight of my home turf for the past almost three years stirred something in me. Could it be the squirrels? I don’t know what, exactly, caught fire, but I miss that place. I miss academia. I am good at being a student - it is a craft I have honed for the past several years. It wasn’t always so comfortable in the classroom, but today it is were I identify best. Getting a MA is the right path for me - it is the next big thing. And that is ok, for it could lead me to a life lived permanently in the classroom - on the other side of the podium.

So now it is time to get busy. The perfect storm has arrived. Time is short, I am motivated, the entrance to the tunnel of the next beginning is just ahead and the light that awaits me on the other side promises to be more brilliant than ever. But it won’t happen because I am smart. I won’t happen because I want it. It won’t happen because I know what to do. It will only happen if I do it. Knowing is not the answer - doing is. So if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do…